The perils of running with Lupus

I am still having a hard time figuring out my schedule during the week to get 4 short runs in. Instead I have at least managed to get 3 short runs in, but I have made them longer to get the mileage up to where I feel a comfortable base is being created. We have a schedule conflict on Wednesdays, so no one gets home until after dark. I won't run our lonely unlit roads in the dark. I feel unsafe on them during the day with the crazy driver's and logging truck traffic. Night running is definately out. I wish I could afford a treadmill or gym membership.

Today's long run included a pretty big wipe out by your's truly. We were turned around heading back in and I lost the sense of my left leg. This is something that has been happening since the Lupus invaded my body. I just lose all sensation of my left leg or my right arm. I can see it, but my brain isn't registering that limb. Today I dropped pretty hard to the ground and not only did I fall, but I tumbled a couple times as well. It makes me feel completely incapable of doing anything at all. The emotional impact of losing control is worse than the actual loss of control. I feel like an idiot. I hate that my body does this. My knee is pretty messed up and my leg is bruised from the shin to the ankle and the skin torn off in a couple of places. I am stiff. I am mad. I hate this. I will not stop running. I can't. Running saved me from myself and there is no way I am going to stop.

Running gave me something that I needed in my life. It gives me that time to process all that my day entails, from fighting for my child's developmental and medical needs, to wondering each day if I am going to continue to hold down employment in the mortgage lending industry. I think I would be insane if I didn't have that outlet.

So, I broke out the big bad pain pill, will ice and heat the knee and see how I am feeling tomorrow.

update time

I got reminded that I haven't updated in a while. I am really remiss about posting here. My life is a bit crazy. Then again isn't everyones?

I am trying to keep this blog focused on my training and not so much my personal life. It isn't always easy as everything is very interwoven.

My family is so great about working with my running schedule. Although I am finding it hard to squeeze in my short runs. I don't take lunch at work - I take it the last half hour of my schedule so I can be home on time to meet my son's bus. With the daylight hours shrinking it is getting to be tricky to get the run in before dark.

Last week I had a crappy cold that has been going around. I ran only 1 short run and then the long run. Was I ever stiff and sore the next day. This week I am making sure the long runs are in as they should be. I am finding that I can run longer stretches than I have ever been able to. I know it is a mental thing. I am sure the first time I trained I could have pushed and run longer stretches, but I didn't. I just kind of made sure I kept injury free and healthy enough to cross that finish line. This time I find that running is easier than walking. Granted many people walk faster than I run, but that movement is friendlier to my body than walking.

The weather this month has been ideal. I am not looking forward to the rain that I know is going to be here soon enough.

Fundaising is going pretty well. I lost my corporate sponsor, which was a disappointment. But with the economy as it is, they are feeling the pinch more than most, so I completely understand. I have another group of letters going out and we have the Texas Hold Em Party that needs to be finalized.

Fairhaven Waterfront 15K

Yesterday was the Fairhaven Waterfront 15K. I was really doubtful of my ability to complete this race of 9.3 miles. I fretted about it all week long. I missed a couple of my short runs last week due to extenuating circumstances and really did not feel at all prepared for Saturday. I can't wait until the pictures are done.

It was worked into our training schedule as our regular Saturday long run. It is the longest stretch I have run since I got sick. I completed it, and I ran it at a pace faster than I thought I could. I am so thrilled. Even more importantly I feel great today. I recovered very quickly. I was able to go out and get a nice easy paced run in early this morning and I have no aches or pains from all that running.

We are having a perfect extended summer. I am so glad for that.

Next week we have a fundraising event to coincide with the move in weekend of WWU. Hopefully we will have a decent turnout and sizeable donations.

Right now, I am going to go make Blackberry jam.

Back To School and all that jazz.

I am trying to adjust to the school schedules starting around here and fitting my running in during the week. I prefer to run first thing in the morning, but find I am running at night instead. The mornings are too dark now at the times I get up. Soon it will be too dark to run in the evening safely out here where I live. I am going to have to figure out how to get my runs in mid day.

I got a Nike+. I really like it. I guess I like to see for real just how slow of a runner I am. But you know.. I ran the solid 40 minutes today - no walk breaks. I might be slow, but I can run and I will finish what I set out to do. It took me a long time to be ok with being so slow. It was hard to have everyone pass me coming and going on the long runs. But eventually I settled in to being ok with the fact that I am who I am and I run slow. I think I am running pretty fast - then I look at my Plus and see I am cruising at the speed of 13.1 minute miles. Mario Andretti of the track I am not.

I am starting to get donations in the mail. It is so exciting to see those return envelopes tucked in the junk mail and bills when I arrive home from work. It keeps me going. My family - all of them - extended and immediate are incredible. I just love them and am so fortunate in my life to have them.

I will be adding my grandpa Henry Kinnune to my honored list. I put his name on my wristlet to wear as I train. He died of Leukemia long before I was born. My cousin sent in a donation and asked I run the marathon in his honor. Not only will I do that, but I will also train in his honor.

This weekend we run 90 minutes and then I have been asked if I wanted to sell hot dogs again at our local grocery store. The last time we did that a couple weeks ago a bit of a fiasco occured with the group following us. We were treated very poorly by some of the group members. I let the store manager know what happened. As a result I am being set up to fundraise in conjunction with a big store event - a Tail Gate Party to kick off the Seahawk's NFL season. The store is donating all the food fixings and I just need to sell them and keep all the proceeds for my marathon.

Sometimes it pays to speak up.

Procrastination

Yesterday I really did not want to run. In fact I came pretty close to convincing myself I could skip out. Then I started thinking about why I am running and training for a marathon and the people I am running in honor of. They can't skip out of Chemo or radiation. For them it is life or death. And sometimes death still wins over life.

So I begrudgingly put on my running gear, drove to the track and ran. It was a great run and I felt so much better after.

I think I might have made it beyond the initial hump of running. I have been able to run the entire short runs on our training schedule with no walk breaks except a 3 minute warm up and 3 minute cool down.

I know that there will be bumps in the road, but today I feel accomplished.

Long runs and weekends

Last week was one of those weeks that were go go go go. It was an up and out the door in the early morning and not get home until 9-10PM 3 out of 5 weeknights. By Friday I was wiped. I did get my runs in and by Saturday I no longer feel like I am running knee deep in water. Maybe I am turing a corner? Only time will tell.

Saturday was the most and longest stretch I have run at one time since I fell ill. It was a great easy pace, fabulous company and perfect weather. We went a bit over time, but it felt ok.

I spent the rest of the day on my feet hawking hot dogs for a good cause. We did ok. Not spectacular, but hey $ toward goal is $ toward goal. We got some honking horns and shouts of "Go Team", sad stories and triumphant stories.

When I woke this morning I was worried about soreness and tightness, but felt great all day. "

I am destined to be a very slow runner - always I think. I am ok with that. I get passed by most runners. I just keep plodding along. My goal is the finish. My purpose is to honor those that have had their lives turned upside down by a blood cancer.

I found a quote today that sums it all up for me. "The race doesn't always go to the swiftest or the fastest it goes to the one who keeps on running. "
-unknown

General Update

I got my fundraising letter done. I will work on getting it in the mail by the end of this week. I am pretty pleased with it, if I do say so myself.

Saturday's kickoff was wonderful. We have such a great team. I hope everyone makes it through recommitment. I put together Nalgene bottles for my mentees and filled them with pretzels, jolly ranchers, dark chocolate and GU packs. Things many find helpful as the runs progressively get longer. We had a short run - 45 minutes on Saturday and then a fundraising clinic after. It was cold windy and rainy.

Sunday I got my 30 minutes in early in the morning and felt pretty wiped out the entire day. Yesterday I didn't do any running. This morning I slept through the alarm so that means my run looms in front of me all day long. I prefer running first thing in the morning. Then it is out of the way.

My youngest has strep and was up off and on all night. By the time I finally fell asleep, the alarm didn't register in my brain at all.

I am hoping the runs start getting easier soon.

Yahoo news has a great article about running. It reaffirms my madness and love for running. Running Goodness.