Procrastination

Yesterday I really did not want to run. In fact I came pretty close to convincing myself I could skip out. Then I started thinking about why I am running and training for a marathon and the people I am running in honor of. They can't skip out of Chemo or radiation. For them it is life or death. And sometimes death still wins over life.

So I begrudgingly put on my running gear, drove to the track and ran. It was a great run and I felt so much better after.

I think I might have made it beyond the initial hump of running. I have been able to run the entire short runs on our training schedule with no walk breaks except a 3 minute warm up and 3 minute cool down.

I know that there will be bumps in the road, but today I feel accomplished.

Long runs and weekends

Last week was one of those weeks that were go go go go. It was an up and out the door in the early morning and not get home until 9-10PM 3 out of 5 weeknights. By Friday I was wiped. I did get my runs in and by Saturday I no longer feel like I am running knee deep in water. Maybe I am turing a corner? Only time will tell.

Saturday was the most and longest stretch I have run at one time since I fell ill. It was a great easy pace, fabulous company and perfect weather. We went a bit over time, but it felt ok.

I spent the rest of the day on my feet hawking hot dogs for a good cause. We did ok. Not spectacular, but hey $ toward goal is $ toward goal. We got some honking horns and shouts of "Go Team", sad stories and triumphant stories.

When I woke this morning I was worried about soreness and tightness, but felt great all day. "

I am destined to be a very slow runner - always I think. I am ok with that. I get passed by most runners. I just keep plodding along. My goal is the finish. My purpose is to honor those that have had their lives turned upside down by a blood cancer.

I found a quote today that sums it all up for me. "The race doesn't always go to the swiftest or the fastest it goes to the one who keeps on running. "
-unknown

General Update

I got my fundraising letter done. I will work on getting it in the mail by the end of this week. I am pretty pleased with it, if I do say so myself.

Saturday's kickoff was wonderful. We have such a great team. I hope everyone makes it through recommitment. I put together Nalgene bottles for my mentees and filled them with pretzels, jolly ranchers, dark chocolate and GU packs. Things many find helpful as the runs progressively get longer. We had a short run - 45 minutes on Saturday and then a fundraising clinic after. It was cold windy and rainy.

Sunday I got my 30 minutes in early in the morning and felt pretty wiped out the entire day. Yesterday I didn't do any running. This morning I slept through the alarm so that means my run looms in front of me all day long. I prefer running first thing in the morning. Then it is out of the way.

My youngest has strep and was up off and on all night. By the time I finally fell asleep, the alarm didn't register in my brain at all.

I am hoping the runs start getting easier soon.

Yahoo news has a great article about running. It reaffirms my madness and love for running. Running Goodness.

Time to air the place out and dust out the cobwebs!

I am officially in the clear to train for a marathon again. After my last post in March I got very ill and was eventually diagnosed with Lupus. My last post in March signalled the point I stopped running. I spent the next several months visiting doctors, having blood tests, transfusions, and a multitude of other tests until the offical word was given.

I spent the spring and early summer figuring out the new body I have, trying a variety of horrific medicines and learning to live with chronic pain. So after all that I have been given go ahead to try to run and train for another marathon. Lupus has been more devastating to me on a personal level than a physical level. While the pain can be intense and difficult, the emotional aspect of not understanding my body clearly and having to learn to seek help and realize I can't do all I once did is far worse for me. I had to drop out of training for Anchorage and that marathon was important to me on a very personal level. My very closest childhood friend lives in Anchorage and I haven't seen her since I was 18. I was hoping not only to see a glimpse of Alaska, but also to try to make contact with her. Life continues and all I can do is keep moving forward.

This takes me to my new quest - training for Walt Disneyworld in January 09. This was my first week back running since March. It has been tough. Not only do I have the hot days of summer to contend with, but I am at square one. I feel like I am running in knee deep water. But I ran - 3 minute run, 1 minute walk intervals and I hit every day on the schedule.

I am excited and determined. Every Friday is blood test and weigh in day. As long as I maintain my platelet and iron counts and not drop in weight I get to keep running. So far so good!

I have to say, emotionally the running has been good for me this week. It momentarily lets me forget about my Lupus.

Off to take a pain pill and a handful of vitamins and minerals and then slumber here I come.