So Far Behind

I know I know, I am so far behind in updating. I had a bit of a weird setback and had to stop running for 5 days. I missed a critical long run in there too. I suffered a migraine that I couldn't shake. It lasted almost 9 full days. I went to the Dr. about half way in to the thing and she gave me pain meds which didn't get rid of the pain. Instead they gave me the shakes and bad dreams. I am prone to migraines and headaches and I can't remember a period in my life without them. I rarely talk about them or tell anyone I have a headache. I get about 3-5 a week. I just have learned to live through them. It is part of life. Well this last one just didn't end and it was bad enough I had blurred vision, slurred speech and a numb kind of slack face. I had an MRI, which went very well, and I actually kind of liked being all closed off in that machine. It was very space age Dr. Who-ish. The results show that I have a birth defect. How weird is that? I have something called Chiari Malformation. The back of my skull is short and hence a small portion of brain matter extends beyond the skull line. The Dr. thinks that the slow increase in intensity of running put pressure on my spine and the fact that I am a little low on spinal fluid is probably what triggered the migraine. I of course kept running the first 3 days of my migraine, thinking that would get rid of it. This does explain my lifelong headaches which start at the back of my head and typically take over one side.

I got the green light to go back to running and can run the full marathon as long as I am not experiencing a migraine. So, last week I started running again on Wednesday lightly and I did a long run on Saturday all by my lonesome. I completed 16 miles. I saw maybe 5 other people out on the trails that day. It was eerily quiet. The summer had been packed with runners, bikers, etc. But this past Sunday was Bellingham's first marathon, so everyone was in rest mode in prep for Sunday. It was a little spooky running that dark trail in the wee hours of the morning. It was a good run and I felt strong. I am however worried about my ability to complete the Nike Marathon. It is just 2 weeks away and suddenly I feel very ill-prepared. My coach and mentor say I will do just fine. I have had some really good long runs in without much trouble. They assure me that I am strong enough and have the right kind of determination to complete 26.2 miles. I however, don't feel that confidence right now.

Yesterday I did my tiny 3 miler and I will get some good mid week runs in. I just can't believe the time is almost here. I am filled with trepidation and doubt today.